To Punish or to discipline your partner in a demeaning way is the dumbest thing to do (that is if you truly do love your partner). Some go as far as striking their partner in public and rain horrible insults at them as a way of humbling them so that they see their wrong. How do we forget in a hurry that ‘Two wrongs cannot make a right.’ Whether you punish them openly or behind closed doors, that will not give you the result you seek.
There is a saying ‘Respect is reciprocal’ You cannot get what you cannot give. You give love, you get love in return; You give hate, you get hate in return. Thus, punishing your partner is the same thing as punishing yourself. We both know that no sane person would want to do that to himself or herself except for those who are mentally unstable.
You only want to love yourself and never miss any opportunity to bring out the best in you. Therefore, your partner should be your playmate and friend so whenever you think he or she has hurt you, the best discipline you can give is to sit your partner down and talk it out.
Here are 7 Ways Men Prefer To Discipline Their Partners
1. Domestic Violence
This trait is common with most men. Although not all men perceive violence to be an effective tool for communicating their dissatisfaction. A lot of women have died in marriage because of this vile way of correction which occurs as a result of anger and displeasure.
2. Lock Them Outside
While growing up, I witnessed a man who was accustomed to beating his wife and on one of those fateful days, he sent her out of the house. She stood outside for hours on that cold and rainy night, begging her husband to let her in or give her the children so she could leave. This type of behaviour is not something one should pride in.
3. Cheat on Their Wives
Cheating has become a norm for many men today. They go like “I mean why work things out with my partner when there are a million and one ladies out there I can have fun with without reservations?”
4. Eat out Instead of Home-Cooked Food
I know a few who have done this. Men making their wives pay for their misdeed by rejecting their food is another punishment on its own. Eating out is not a crime, I mean… there’s no harm in that but doing so when you are very well aware that the woman in your life must have worked herself out to get your favourite food on the table, is what appears to be another level of torture.
5. Shy away from Fatherly Responsibilities
The man is usually considered the head of the home. It is expected of him to not only oversee his home but cater to his family as the breadwinner. Of course, there are homes where the woman is left with no choice but to fend for the family.
It does not come as a surprise to many particularly social workers who in their line of job, encounter men that shy away from their fatherly responsibilities (To give good and quality education to his children, providing for them to eat, shelter and clothes to wear) as a defence mechanism and a strategic way to deal with their spouse.
6. Avoid Touching Their Wives
This particular method of getting back to one’s partner can be chicky sometimes you know… I mean why starve yourself sexually all in the name of exerting pain on your wife as a man?
This denial on your side could cost both of you. Sex is not only for pleasure but for bonding. That period of misunderstanding with your wife is, in fact, the best time to get intimate and have reconciliation sex.
Regretfully, many men use this mechanism to torture their wives for the wrongs they’ve done.
7. Keep Late Nights and Sometimes Sleep Out
This is an ancient technique many men have adopted to get back at their wives. This single behaviour has led to many divorces and separations.
Here are 7 Ways Women Prefer to Discipline Their Husbands
1. Deny Them Sex
This is a common trait among married couples. A whopping number of couples withhold sex from their spouse (as a way of retaliation or punishment). Men are mostly moved by what they see, and many wives today seize this weakness of theirs when a misunderstanding arises.
A woman with beautiful and sexy curves knows how much her husband loves to see her in a red hot transparent dress, won’t miss a chance to arouse him by walking back and forth with him in a seductive way, and when he attempts to come close to her, she bluntly turns him down.
It is believed that withholding sex from your partner is an effective tool to get your partner dancing to your tune.
This doesn’t always turn out to be true because a man who is on the inpatient side will take his frustration outside and get his desired sexual satisfaction.
2. Verbal Violence
Women are commonly referred to as the weaker vessel. Women are wordy so to speak. Because of their inherent nature, they tend to express themselves better by going vocal. When a woman is upset about something her man has done, in order to make her point to him, she can sometimes say hurtful words to her man in the heat of an argument. Not many men recover from verbal violence or verbal abuse.
3. Report Them to Close Relations
Not every man likes the idea of a third party. A good number of women feel when close relations know about the unpleasant behaviour of their husband, then they can get back at them.
In a situation where a man is jobless, his wife instead of supporting him and bring out the best in him decides to ridicule or punish him before close relations by informing them about the financial state of her husband in a demeaning manner.
4. Stop Cooking for Them
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. For some women who think their husbands deserve to be punished for some wrongdoing, they’d prefer to restrain from cooking for their husbands as a way of punishing or disciplining them(Husbands) for some behaviour that doesn’t sit well with them(wives).
5. Use Physical Violence
This is common with men because they are the ones with the strength but surprisingly, most women go physical with their husbands. Gone are those days when we hear a fight coming from the bedroom and assume the man is the one doing the punching. Plenty of women have been taught to defend themselves and many have ended up abusing it, using it to their own advantage.
6. Criticize Their Men in Public
One thing men don’t joke with is their Ego. Criticizing your husband in public does not only hurt his ego but makes him lose respect for you and your marriage. Quit this behaviour of publicly criticizing your husband because if you don’t you may end up losing him forever.
7. They Steal From Their Husbands
Not all men are free givers. Some men will want to have the balance of the money they gave their wives for shopping(either for personal use or household use). Those kinds of men are mostly left with a woman who regardless of their financial state will seize every opportunity presented to them to steal from their pockets or even their bank account.
However, this behaviour may not be the best way to get your man to spoil you with his resources, many married women would rather choose to go by this method, not just to punish their husbands for being stingy but to meet pressing personal needs.
Best Type of Discipline For Every Couple
Showing Love is the greatest punishment there is. You just keep loving and loving until you see a significant change in your partner. Instead of obsessing on ways to hurt your partner, here are few things you can do to drive home your point.
1. Have a Heart-to-Heart talk
A heart-to-heart talk has been and will always be an effective tool for a stable relationship or marriage. This can be achieved by being alone with your spouse in a cool and quiet place. One of the best places to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner that would yield a beautiful result is the bedroom.
You talk with each other, in a soft and low tone- this type of conversation breeds an irresistible connection between you too. During this talk session, you can air your displeasure and establish better ways to approach and handle issues relating to your marriage, career, finance etc.
2. Effective Communication
To have effective communication, there is a need for consistency. Consistency in sharing your thoughts, wishes, and desires. Talk about anything and everything.
There is a huge difference between communication and shouting at the top of your voice. Bring home your point by having proper communication with your spouse, that way, neither of you would see the need or harbour the thought of dealing with the other to exert pain and suffering.
3. Buying of Gifts
A surprise gift can mean the world to someone who is disheartened and feeling insecure. Taking and having the best of romantic conversations is great but, sometimes all you need do is get a beautiful surprise package for your man or woman. You don’t need to go bankrupt to make that happen. A beautiful dress for your wife will do. A simple wristwatch for your husband will do. It is the thoughtfulness that counts. Let it come from your heart.
The word ‘Discipline’ shouldn’t be heard among couples except they’re both discussing how to raise their children. Love must thrive and misunderstandings settled with much respect.