Just like there are methods to operating a machine, there are keys that help a marriage to work smoothly.
A successful marriage is not one without misunderstanding, fights, quarrels, or even heartbreak. The heart will hurt and churn, in some cases, you’d ask yourself, “how did we get here?”
The bottom-line question is asking yourself, “how can I make this marriage work?” Addressing or fixing the matter of the heart is not like operating a computer system where you know specific keys to press to get the required result.
Your marriage can work when you understand these 9 Powerful Keys.
It takes a lot of forbearances to accommodate a biological family member whom you grew up with. In the context of marriage, you’re practically expected to live peaceably with a person with whom you met perhaps a few years before you became legally wedded. A marriage that is headed for success will have to adopt tolerance every now and then because nobody is perfect.
Understanding is primary to every successful home. This particular key requires a conscious effort from both parties. There is a saying, “Two captains cannot sail a ship.” One will have to give up for the other to take the course. So it is in marriage, you must choose to understand your partner and let go quickly.
He is Mr. Right doesn’t make him Mr. Perfect. If you’re the one who likes an organized bedroom 24/7, then be prepared to adjust your likes to that of your partner’s because things may not always be the same. Another major thing to adjust is your expectations. A wise woman once said, “Reduce your expectations, desire for things instead.” That is to say, you desire that your partner do certain things your way rather than expect them to. When you expect too much, the possibility to get disappointed is high and when that happens, it can be devastating!
4. Let Go of Your Preconceived Idea of Marriage
To have wishes and dreams is very much okay, but when we let them interfere in our present life (especially marriage), it can be depressing. You must have heard that marriage is not all rosy, that is a fact. Do you want to see your marriage work? Set aside those wonderful preconceived ideas you took into your marriage and face reality with an open mind.
5. Give Room for Mistakes
Who says you wouldn’t step on your partner’s toes? Is it when you’d fart on the dining table, forget their special days, or say things you don’t mean? Give room for mistakes because it will surely happen. Importantly, be ever ready to forgive when they (partner) make mistakes.
6. Disconnect From Your Ex… Set Boundaries
This key is an essential one. Your past is your past, let it remain there! If they were good enough for you, you’d be with them instead of your current spouse. Hence, give your Ex a reasonable amount of space so you can avoid having mixed emotions that may compel you to start comparing your husband/wife with your Ex and focus on your marriage.
Openness is one powerful key that if existing in a relationship or marriage, builds trust and much confidence. Be transparent with your partner, open up to them, share that your deepest secrets with them. When you can confide in your partner, it creates a beautiful atmosphere in the marriage.
Truthfully, this key is not entirely an easy one to handle/practice. A lady goes like, ” I mean, how I like to brush my teeth before going to bed at night but my partner does the complete opposite! What should I do?” The answer is to compromise. Better still, politely talk to your partner about it. Also, be the change you want to see in them.
9. Choose Your Words Wisely
The reason why we express ourselves is to send across a message of satisfaction or displeasure towards a person, situation, or event. Expressing oneself especially in times of distress or when upset may sometimes lead to regret if we don’t choose our words wisely. Therefore, when speaking with your partner about an action or behavior you’re not comfortable with, ensure to choose your words wisely to avoid future regrets.
Love doesn’t pick offense, love doesn’t hold back, love doesn’t keep a grudge, love goes the extra mile, love doesn’t give up easily because it perseveres. In love you find rest. You need love to tolerate, understand, choose your words wisely, compromise, give room for mistakes, Adjust and be transparent.